So there I was happily typing away, building and creating the world that had been formulating and refining in my mind for months upon months finally was becoming a reality on the page and I have to admit that it was exhilarating! I had just finished laying the grounds for my main character Leila when I began my ritual of editing and re-editing the new paragraph when it hit me, what I had written had not only made no sense but it was also totally out of character and was obvious and desperate attempt to make this strange and uncomfortable scenario fit in order to rush through to the ‘interesting part’.
In that moment, all of my adrenalin and enthusiasm crashed like the waves on the rocks. I was so devastated, broken and frustrated and to top it all off I had only just got over my last speed bump and to write again felt so fulfilling and this set back just made me so vexed with myself that my old friend writer’s block came right on back with no signs of leaving anytime soon.
I was at a loss as to how to bridge the gap between where my characters were and where I needed them to be. I spent days sat staring vacantly into space trying to formulate a scenario that would work, my family got a bit concerned for a moment. Unfortunately, every idea I came up didn’t portray the extremely life changing relationship shift between my main character Leila and her husband, ol’ hubby would get in the way of everything (he is a boring meticulous frigid man who may or may not be on the autistic spectrum, his parents never found out because they didn’t want to know. How else would he turn out?) I have so many plots and ideas running through my head that I have such a headache and now I have decided to get it out of my head and onto paper, so here goes!
After plenty of thinking and debating, I have narrowed it down to two avenues that seem both tenable:
1.Leila’s husband Jonathan is gay.
Which can lead to an interesting story where Leila doubts herself as a wife and a mother, but I am not sure if I could portray this without having to go to an extremely dark place because Leila has been the rock that has been keeping the family together for a long time now and I think this would be a ‘straw that broke the camel’s back’ situation where it would push her into a deep depression that would negate the overwhelming side of Leila where she puts her kids first and foremost in everything. While this book is going to be a romantic comedy, I do want there will be a few sad scenes in my book but I want my first story to be a light and enjoyable read.
2. Jonathan dies.
This option would take care of getting the husband out of the way and would lead Leila to be wary and unsure about dating as a widowed mother of two. The only reason that I am reluctant to go down this path because again, it is quite a macabre way to go. As I am writing that I have realised that, yes it is quite a dark subject but it would be a perfect way to draw Leila and her children closer and irreversibly together, weaving an unspoken bond that they only knew.
I have realised that writing this blog has helped me become unblocked and see where I want the story to go. I think I am going to go with the death of Jonathan, I know this is quite a dark plotline but I don’t think I am going to focus too much on the death but more on the events immediately after and how everyone copes or not or I could do the classic ‘inform wife of death and flash forward x years’. I know it will be hard for the family and undoubtedly they will go through some dark times but they would have come through this monumental event together and stronger. Plus, I think it will pave the way for Leila to be strong and present in the moment for her children but she locks her heart and grief away, as we all know grief is a ticking time bomb. We will just have to wait and see how and when Leila’s bomb explodes.
Ahhh, I feel so much better! Thanks for listening to my silly woes of the written prose!
If you have ay advice, tips or even any critiques please let me know, I am writing this blog so I can grow and mature as a writer and sometimes I can be over analytical and too close to my writing and I need another set of honest eyes and that’s where you wonderful people come in. So, like I said if you have any advice, any at all please let me know because I could use all the help I can get!
Love and peace!